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Emotional problems and dealing with difficult relationships.

 


 

Are you in a difficult relationship with loved ones or in your professional working life and experiencing emotional problems as a result of not knowing how to deal with the situation?  Do you feel powerless?

 

 


For all those times that you meet people who take an instant dislike to you just for being who you are and those times & situations that people who you engage with on a daily basis who repeatedly mistreat or ignore you or are aggressive, rude, or leave you feeling less than adequate and your actions don't deserve those responses.

Don't beat yourself up and blame yourself. Its their stuff not yours!

Key into your inner core & remind yourself of who you are & what makes you special & unique! You will feel better if you do! 


People who behave badly towards another person usually have a second agenda, they may not like themselves and may present that persona to everyone or they may be power seeking insecure narcissistic individuals. Whether the bullying, intimidation or manipulation takes place at home or at work the feelings and results can still feel the same. The partner who mistreats you may hate themselves,their lives or be living with a guilty secret, may no longer be in love with you. The boss who mistreats his or her employees may be a narcissistic power hungry bully, may hate his or her job or may just enjoy making people feel miserable or may have hidden agendas. 

They may be looking to gain control through manipulation & intimidation gradually controlling and manipulating the other person until the victim feels trapped and powerless in a web of control.

 



Its still their stuff not yours! & you don't have to own it. You can choose how to respond and if you ignore it & don't let it get to you, you will feel better I promise. They won't like it, but it’s their stuff not yours!  Keep calm and remain confident, see yourself as the lion in the mirror and not the timid kitten, brought to their knees by their behaviour.

 

 


If in an intimate relationship and the other persons behaviour & intimacy changes toward you they may have changed their feelings & feel trapped within the relationship & feel a sense of guilt & loss themselves. 
They also may be hiding something which they are struggling with, but which comes out in the way they react in their relationship with you & in those situations, when truth & honesty surfaces, it is always very hurtful if trust has been misused or betrayed. The magic that was there at the beginning may feel completely destroyed, lost & gone forever. The emotional damage can be lasting & deep & feel like its never going to heal. 

 



Its also worth holding in mind in all relationships that some people may be dealing with very personal matters both mentally and physically that cause them to behave in the way they do and sometimes issues such as pain and changing hormone levels & body chemistry levels may cause people to lash out when they don't mean too & after that they may be themselves feeling bad and beat themselves up over it too. 

 

 


In both physical & mental conditions if these things are temporary we may be able to work around it & accept such behaviour for what it is, temporary. It is when it becomes a permanent state in relationships that it becomes a potential problem & we have to decide how to react to their behaviour for our own best interests & theirs too if that makes sense.I.e, looking after someone with a sudden change of physical or mental state as in the case of severe illness, depression, trauma, disablement such as a loss of a limb and dementia. Generally people can change their behaviours and control how they think & react but there are some situations where because a person is depressed or hurting deep inside that they cannot.

Maslow’s law cites self preservation (happiness, love, and acceptance) and family as one of a human beings fundamental requirements and it is these circumstances particularly with family relationships that difficult emotions and feelings and choices may at sometime in our lives have to be made. I.e, moving on in a relationship, or making difficult choices about a senior loved ones best interests for their welfare such as in the case of someone suffering with advanced dementia or staying the course and making sacrifices & finding a compassionate way to come to terms with the issues which is helpful, understanding, nurturing and supportive to all.

 


When one is just dealing with narcissistic people who manipulate & play power games & who have covert secondary gain agendas, remember its their stuff & their loss not yours if you decide to walk away or not react to their bad attitudes and behaviours and some people if they have been in a relationship or friendship and have allowed themselves to be mistreated or taken for granted for a long time, the longer that situation is left to fester, the harder it is to put it right. If it can't be done in a way that works for both parties & finds a long term change of relating in the relationship, then it is only when the person has taken control & moved on that the other person may come to realise what it is they lost and perhaps why. 


If you are a victim of being manipulated or bullied allowing yourself to be taken for granted and your feelings & wishes regularly trampled on then you may also have a tendency to attract people like this into your life and this is an area you need to work on. This is what is known as victim mentality and the causes could be anything from learned behaviour from parents/carers to bullying and abuse from peer group or sibling rivalry , teachers or other adults and could reach back to childhood, teen age years and early adult life .

You may feel powerless to do anything about it but you can & it can be surprisingly easier than you may think.You just need to take the first steps.


How you may ask?

Fortunately therapy can help with all of the associated issues that go hand in hand with the above of self esteem, self acceptance, acceptance, letting go, setting boundaries, dealing with anger, anxiety, confidence, sadness and more and hypnotherapy is a very powerful tool that can help you resolve issues and move on.


In difficult and manipulative or abusive relationships. Stop being the victim. You don't have to be. Find those people who genuinely appreciate you for who you are and move on.


To find out more how hypnotherapy could help you call Trevor Wales Dip hyp. GHR.GQHP.GHSC validated practitioner. CRSST CNHC on 01726 69703.


 

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