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What are Cognitive Mind Based Therapies and Why I use different Therapy tools

 


 

New blog added 19th Jan 2017

What are Cognitive Mind Based Therapies? 

Cognitive mind based therapies are a set of useful therapy tools that can be used to help to empower people who wish to create personal inner change in their lives. Change in their way of thinking, feeling and behaviours, to make improvements to some aspect of their daily lives, to create lasting positive change based on the reasoning and theoretical models that the personal emotions we experience control our behaviour and that all behaviour has the express purpose of keeping us safe through the part of our mind that is the subconscious, that ancient fight of flight mechanism designed to protect us and keep us safe from harm. 
In some people’s lives, significant events which happen that are highly emotional can trigger an adverse reaction which starts a change in thinking, feeling and behaviour from the norm that they experience and this may sometimes lead to certain behaviours escalating out of their control, resulting in obsessive behaviours, phobias, anxiety or even addictions. Cognitive mind based therapies use a variety of helpful and highly specialised therapeutic tools to help to find the causes that led to these behaviours.

 

 

Cognitive mind based therapy tools can help you improve your life. 

If you are looking to create change in your life and looking for help with issues such as Stopping Smoking, Diet and Managing Weight, Anxiety, Fear of Flying, Fears of Open or Closed Spaces, Fears of Talking in Public, Addictions, Exam or Interview Nerves, Nail Biting, Wedding Day Nerves, Improving your Self Confidence or anything else connected with matters of Beliefs, Behaviours, how you feel and how you view the world and yourself, if you are exploring the idea of using Hypnotherapy and Cognitive Mind Based Therapies, there are two things I would like to share with you. The first is that BWRT ®, Hypnotherapy, EFT & NLP really could work for you exactly as it has worked to help millions of people around the world to get the best out of life. The second thing to share with you is that as an experienced skilled and highly ethical hypnotherapy practitioner of over ten years, I can help you to make those improvements to feel better within yourself, to create the positive changes that you want to make in your life, like the many people around the country and across the world who I've already helped to do this.  

Why do I use different therapy tools such as BWRT, EFT and NLP alongside Hypnotherapy?

The answer is very straightforward. Having a diversity of different therapy tools is very useful, because although they are all designed to achieve the same ends, to help you feel better or achieve your goal, they all work in different ways which gives me flexibility in how I work with my clients. Some of the therapies I use such as BWRT®, EFT and NLP are in the fully waking conscious state and not in the trance state as in hypnosis. 

The advantage of having several options are various, for example, one chronic pain client I worked with a few years ago who saw me for hypnotherapy was in so much pain to begin with that they were unable to relax sufficiently for hypnotherapy to commence. In this situation, I introduced EFT to the client and after a few minutes of working in the conscious state the client was able to reduce their pain levels sufficiently enough for hypnotherapy to begin and so a combination of EFT and hypnotherapy produced the results for that particular client.

Another reason for having alternative tools is that some client’s health conditions such as serious heart condition, epilepsy and severe asthma would all be contra indicators where it could be potentially very unsafe to use hypnosis. In this case working consciously with interventions such as BWRT , EFT and NLP can be a very effective alternative.

Additionally and very rarely, some clients may be uncomfortable with the idea of going into trance as there may be the mistaken belief that they are somehow giving up their power. Nothing could be further from the truth.  A hypnotherapist helps and facilitates the client to tap into their subconscious mind and bring their own inner resources into focus where they can work to create the changes they want. However, in the rare cases that surface from time to time interventions such as BWRT offer the client the opportunity to work with their situation in the fully conscious state and in a very private way where not too much is needed to be divulged in the consultation to the therapist and this suits clients who find it hard to talk about their problem for whatever reason.  

Why choose BWRT® EFT and NLP?

BWRT®, EFT and NLP are not in the hypnotic state and are in the fully conscious awake state although it is quite possible that the client may well engage into a spontaneous trance like state whilst engaging with those therapies. BWRT® is a very fast dynamic therapy modality which is content free and often produces very dramatic shifts and changes in just one or two sessions and it is very well suited for issues such as depression, fears, habits, phobias, generalised anxiety disorders, social phobia, stress & anxiety.
The really big point of interest with BWRT® which makes it so effective and efficient is that there is absolutely no need to find out why the client has the problem that they have come for help with. BWRT® is a solution focussed therapy and the therapist is working as a solution focused behavioral psychotherapist not as an analyst searching for the starting point of the behaviour.

 

 

 

The way in which BWRT works is truly remarkable and is fast becoming the therapy tool of choice, it’s almost like magic and issues are sometimes completely cleared in one or two sessions. For more information on BWRT you can read my blog about my experience of working with clients. 
Having tools that offer clients choice gives them positive alternatives and as can be seen from the above being able to use therapies in combination with each other can be very helpful to move things along .

 


 

How many sessions will a client need and why therapy sessions must be booked by the express agreement of the client. Written by Trevor Wales Hypnotherapy Solutions.

 


 

New blog added 15th January 2017

 

#Hypnotherapy #BWRT #EFT #NLP #Cornwall #Devon nationally and internationally via #Skype 

#Ethical practice. How many sessions and which enquiries should a therapist work with? 

 

 

My blog today is for the benefit of potential clients and for other therapists. I suppose you could say that I am on a mission really and perhaps expressing a few thoughts, thoughts about how we all as therapists need to represent our industry with the utmost integrity and how clearly some practices alienate client trust and need to be rethought.

 

On Friday, I received a call from a person out of the county, in fact two counties away and as it goes that is not unusual as I work by Skype. 
What was very unusual was that the enquirer told me that they were assessing my services with a view to seeing how I could help a family member. So far, nothing at all wrong with this, but what followed next clearly was.

The enquirer went on to explain that something very complex and rather sad had happened in the family a while ago and that they were calling on behalf of a person who the family thought needed help and they thought therapy is the route to go, I can't say what the issue is for client confidentiality reasons, but it is very clear that there is an issue which has consequences and impacts upon the family as a result of the person in question' behavioural pattern.
My reaction to the enquirer was to ask why the person who needs help was not on the phone rather than a family member who may not have sought permission. Out of common courtesy I listened to what they had to say. 

The enquirer went on to say that because of what the family thought of the seriousness of the issue that the family had pushed the family member into therapy with what sounds like a fair measure of pressure. Of the situation I can see that the person needing help is in a state of denial and there are some straightforward textbook answers for their behaviour and I beleive that if the 'person' comes for help of their own free will, then therapy will no doubt be able to help.
I went on to tell the enquirer that as an ethical practitioner I would be unwilling to take the family member on for two reasons,one of them being the fact that another therapy practice was already working with the family member. I also declined to be involved unless they first contacted me of their own free will. I explained my reasons why which you can read below, 

The single big issue here is that forcing someone to undertake therapy (and this is very different from mental health issues where sectioning and cpn need to become involved if the person is at risk to themselves and others) the issue is that unless the 'person' realises that they have a problem,then therapy is very unlikely to help. What will most likely happen is that the person will have a few sessions and seeing that nothing changes, they will bail out. The first thing which needs to happen is getting that person to understand why they need help and what that the continued consequences of their actions would bring to the family. That is the first step. Once the person can see the 'WHY' and understand it then they will make progress in therapy if that is the road they chose to take.

In therapy, we see this all the time with quit smokers in the therapist chair who are there because they are pressured into hypnotherapy or therapy by a family member and see nothing wrong with what they are doing even though every smoker knows the risk. The therapy is never going to work. It will be a big fail!

Getting back to the enquirer, they went on to tell me that they had found a well respected therapist in Cornwall who the family member had been to see and that after one session of therapy that family member had said that they were not happy.There are several reasons here. One is that there was some difficulty fitting around the clients working life which the therapy practice was apparently unable to accommodate, Saturdays were a problem for the practice I understand.

There may well be other issues such as rapport but that is not mentioned, however, the big single fact that sticks out and shouts is that the family member doesn't want to be there and is in denial over their behaviour and beliefs and it is a big obstacle that the therapy practice will have to surmount, so getting to yes is the most important part to making progress.

If you are a new therapist ,asking the right questions and realising the importance of ethical boundaries are vital because our first duty is to protect our clients both existing and potential and we also dont need to set ourselves or or industry up for disappointment and failure. I said to the enquirer that I would not treat his family member unless they contacted me personally and that we had a good chat before hand. Although the enquirer was somewhat taken aback they understood. A person's behaviour and free will is there own business unless they are putting the lives of others and their own at risk.

Now I know that in my usual style that this is rather a long post and I hope you are still all with me.

The last thing that really annoyed me and I think this is a really important issue for me representing my industry, was the next big problem for the client which I clearly understand why they would feel uncomfortable with. After one session costing over £75.00 he was advised that he would need TWENTY sessions and I took it to be from the enquirer that the person needed to pay twenty sessions worth either in large installments or all at once.

Speaking as a therapist with over a decade's experience, there are some treatment programmes where you know that a certain number of treatments are perhaps most likely and so when I talk to my clients I give them a broad overview, an average of how many sessions they might expect with flexibility as to how many sessions they might need because that is indeed sensible and ethical to my mind.Weight management and quit smoking programmes come to mind here.

What I never do with my clients is to claim that a client's issue will be resolved in a certain number of sessions with certainty. Everyone is different and a person's issue may well be resolved in just a few issues and when that happens that is really great and that is what our profession is all about, helping people change or find resolution in the most efficient and effective way. 
To tell a client they need to have twenty sessions is just plain wrong in my view because no therapist can know that for sure.

Certainly in some case there may well be complex emotional issues that take time to resolve but the journey has to be planned and taken in steps and evaluated at every session to see the progress a client is making. 
Our work as therapists should be solution focussed and for this reason I beleive therapy assessment tools are very helpful which is why I use them.

Clients will be looking at us to help them and not just to relieve them of large amounts of cash and telling a client they need to spend huge amounts of money to be fixed amounts to just that. Clients are not cash cows! They are people with issues and challenges who need our help.

I believe we must work hard as therapists to work in an ethical way that is supportive of our industry and of ourselves. We need to keep in mind why we came into this industry .... to help people. 
We are merely facilitators to help people unleash the power of their own minds and inner resources. 
If a therapist is in this industry just to make huge amounts of money, well it might work for a while but you are in the wrong industry. My professional reputation is very very important to me because it is intrinsically linked to my core values and if any of my clients thought I was just after making money I would be deeply hurt. I just would not ask someone to pay all of that money up front or tell them that is how many sessions their problem leads.There are just so many questions of trust here that are wide open.

My mission as I would hope all therapists mission is, is to help people in the most efficient way. From what I heard from the enquirer it would seem that some therapists are not only doing their practice harm they are harming the industry and should reappraise why they are in the profession and how they work with people

If the person in question at the start of this post,calls me and asks for my help, which I hope they do, I will be very happy to help them but I won't be telling them that they need twenty sessions because I just dont know. 
They may get to where they need to be in a few sessions , they may well take over twenty but the point is the client should not be set up in such a way that they are told they need twenty sessions at the first session. Step by step progress assessment is the way forward. I hope the practice will learn from this because it is clear the client will not be going back as a result of being told with such definite certainty they need to pay for twenty sessions.


 

Relationships and the pain of betrayal

 

New blog added 09/12/16

 

Can therapy help with raw emotions when relationships go wrong be they business or personal? 

Being deceived, betrayed, cheated on is never easy to deal with. Therapy may well help, even though that might be hard to deal with the thought at the aftermath. But in my experience it has helped numerous clients I have worked with. 

BWRT® is a dynamic psychotherapeutic process that effectively has the capacity to desensitise negative neural thought patterns that result in uncomfortable emotional reactions even before the emotional centres of the brain become aware of it. BWRT® allows for a very rapid change of feeling. It could be likened to switching track on a railway line and instead of traveling along the same neural pathway and accessing the familiar uncomfortable emotional response BWRT® allows for a new response to be created. 


You never know what you are going to wake up to on Facebook that is for sure and reading what has happened to a good friend prompts me to write a little. 

The biggest shock in a person's life barring the death of a loved one is a sense of betrayal, cheating or deceit whether that is work or relationships because the sense of loss and betrayal is almost certainly unexpected. It is a game changer for many and one immediately asks where they went wrong or what it is about them that isn't good enough. It is a fairly traumatic experience especially where there is a huge emotional and sometimes financial investment. 

There is nothing quite so bad as finding your partner has cheated on you and it is sometimes hard to beleive you will ever recover and come out the other side intact

Years ago, a business friend of mine had his life ripped apart to losing everything because his business partner stole from the business and was very clever in deceiving an honest trusting guy and this morning I read the shock of one of my mates who's world has been turned upside down. 
There is nothing worse than the betrayal of trust in what was a good relationship. 

Internal company politics and hostile takeovers can leave one reeling with a sense of worthlessness and betrayal, especially in the case of long term service and being dismissed at short notice 


I know some relationships can drive people to separate and do something wayward like the employee who steals because they are badly treated or the partner who becomes unfaithful because of bad treatment, but in a relationship that is largely good on the whole, finding out the hard way is a shock and can turn our own core values and sense of who we are on its head and even worse it can in all possibility change us for the worse too if we are not emotionally strong enough to deal with the situation and allow the sense of loss and lack of emotional recovery to become the driving force, because human nature being what it is we tend to blame ourselves perhaps far more than the other party.


Coming to terms quickly with the situation and regaining our equilibrium is vital but often not easy and hanging on to our core values and sense of identity is important along with identifying any changes we need to make on an inner level. Above all it is so important that we learn from the experience and not let it make us bitter and resentful in the long term as that can change us and may lead to being deeply unhappy with ourselves. We need to let go in order for the new to enter our lives.
This is where therapy can help and BWRT® has been found to be particularly effective in many instances. 

 


Trevor R Wales

 


 

Hypnotherapy can very often be the answer to a lot of difficulties and problems and can help almost anyone .


New Blog added 09th Nov 2016

Hypnotherapy can very often be the answer and help to manage or solve many personal, emotional and relationship problems both simple and complex and also of a highly personal sensitive nature, often solving the problem altogether. Hypnotherapy is often used to help clients successfully lose and manage weight and to stop smoking.

Hypnotherapy can also be used as a very powerful creative personal and business coaching and development tool to help you develop and realise your full potential, for example it is particularly useful for creative visualisation to help with improvements in performance in areas such as success mentoring and in anything to do with business performance, the arts and sports improvement and personal areas such as memory boosting and self confidence boosting.

Using hypnotherapy with clients, a light to moderate trance is all that is necessary and its important to note that you the client are the one who is in control. People are in light trance states many times in their daily lives often without even realising it. For example, when absorbed in reading a book or watching a movie or driving somewhere and not recollecting all of the details of the journey or anything that is engaged with that is something one does without even thinking about the process. Hypnotherapy can be used in very beneficial ways in many clinical applications too and in 2008 a scientist at the University of Liverpool found that hypnosis can slow down the impacts of dementia and improve quality of life for those living with the condition.

Guided hypnosis is a narrowing of focus and concentrating on a specific ideal at the exclusion of all else The experience of hypnosis can be best described almost like daydreaming where you are aware or not aware, perhaps you  have experienced that feeling where someone is talking to you whilst you are falling asleep and you answer quite dreamily. Hypnosis is a bit like that, it’s like having a half aware conversation with your eyes closed.

Trevor helps clients to create the changes they want and helps them to feel a whole lot better in themselves whether it is in their emotional state of wellbeing, managing issues such as anger, anxiety, stress, low self esteem or beating a habit or a fear phobia or simply just improving an aspect of personal performance.Trevor uses therapeutic interventions of Hypnotherapy, BWRT ®, EFT and NLP to help clients find and re-frame the original sensitising emotional events that were the trigger for their problems. During the therapeutic journey it is not uncommon to use a combination of modalities in some situations and so all the therapies that I work with are complementary to each other. 

Finding the trigger and helping the client to believe that they have the resources to create that inner change is a very important step in helping to empower the client to create effective lasting change. It is a very important part of the therapy approach that I use, because dealing with the root cause is fundamentally important to helping the client create their own inner change working with their own inner resources to change the way they think and feel about themselves, removing the limiting behaviour and helping the client to make positive shifts resulting in them feeling much better as the problem is banished

 

 

All Therapy works best when there is good rapport and a sound professional relationship between client and therapist. It is absolutely essential that the client has a high level of personal commitment to the process of inner change. As my clients therapist I will guide the client towards discovering and working with their own best inner resources enabling them in resolving their problems. I will often be in contact with my clients between sessions and  I will  also give my client tasks to undertake in between sessions. This is so that clients become partly responsible for their recovery  

 

Hypnosis gives you the keys to unlock the doors to you leading a much happier life and to create a deeper sense of fulfilment. Hypnosis can open up the doorways of opportunity for you to create better relationships, better success, whether in your personal life or your working life.

 

 


 

A bit about the way I work with Therapy

 

New blog added 09th November 2016

 

 

A few things about Trevor Wales Hypnotherapy solutions

  • Trevor Wales Hypnotherapy Solutions hypnosis and EFT treatments have helped people stop smoking, lose weight, get over fears and phobias, Manage chronic pain, and relieve stress and much more.Trevor has clients who have recommended him to their friends and who have returned to use his hypnotherapy services to help improve other areas in their lives.
  • Trevor Wales is a fully Diploma qualified hypnotherapist and is covered by full liability insurance.
  • Trevor Wales is a member of several professional bodies, most notably the General Hypnotherapy Register and the Complimentary and Natural Healthcare Council.
  • Trevor is client centred, personable, thorough, caring, and empathic and Trevor helps his clients get great results every time
  • Trevor is an excellent listener, very meticulous in his work and helps his clients with care, dedication and sensitivity. He is very passionate and caring about the work he does and your success and satisfaction are his primary goals
  • Trevor coves all of Cornwall including:-Bodmin, Bude, Camborne, Falmouth, Fowey, Hayle, Helston, Launceston, Liskeard, Looe, Newquay Padstow, Polperro Penzance, Redruth, St Austell, St Ives, Saltash, Truro, Wadebridge.
  • Trevor also covers all of Devon too.
  • In addition to Trevor’s one to one Hypnosis services Trevor also offer treatments both nationally and internationally via Skype video link.
  • Trevor  writes a unique personally tailored script for each of his clients based upon the findings at the consultation.This ensures a targeted therapy approach based upon each clients specific presenting issue and individual needs and is far more effective than the ‘one size fits all’ off the peg hypnosis CD scripts that are available which often do not deliver the results the client is looking for. Furthermore as progress is made it is relatively easy to change and adapt the script to reflect the clients progress and new situation.
  • Trevor also offers personalised hypnosis recordings by high quality audio sate of the art CD,or MP3 download both nationally and internationally.For more information on my CD service see my charges & contact page
  • Trevor’s hypnotherapy service incorporates NLP and EFT where helpful and appropriate.
  • Trevor’s specialism’s are Anxiety issues, Improved Confidence, Fears and Phobias, Improved Performance, Motivation, weight lossstop smoking, stress management and pain management.


How do I work with you? 

I am totally client centred, very patient and caring and I have a highly self-confident disposition both in my therapeutic approach and my beliefs about what hypnosis can achieve for the individual. One of the cornerstones of successful hypnosis treatments is in helping the client get to that place where they too really believe that they can make that change with the assistance of hypnosis.

To quote a favourite proverb or two.

Faith can move mountains.

Whatever you believe, you can achieve. 

They may sound a little hackneyed, but they are universal truths and it's my job to help you with the creation of those beliefs !

For successful hypnotherapy treatment outcomes to take place, confidence and belief in the therapeutic process on the part of both the therapist and client working together are essential alongside an understanding of the nature of the problem and its root cause. I believe these are key essential ingredients of successful hypnotherapy. I have seen this for myself working alongside other professional hypnotherapists over and over again. From the very beginning I work with my clients to help them understand the root causes, how they might have happened and why they may be experiencing the limits, blocks and frustrations that are holding them back from living the life they want to live. From understanding comes progress and the ability to make change, walking from limitation frustration and darkness to freedom happiness and light.

Have you ever noticed how the best and most successful hypnotherapists such as Paul Mc Kenna achieve such successful results with their clients and subjects time and time again? It is because not only is he an expert in his field he is so confident in his own expertise and his ability to put his clients totally at ease and to help them understand how hypnosis works and to help them believe in the possibility of change that his results are so successful……

"The best therapists understand the importance of managing their clients expectations and belief is the cornerstone of helping clients to make the changes they seek"Trevor Wales.Dip Hyp BWRT

 I have a very passionate belief in the power of the mind and what hypnosis can achieve and I am very confident that hypnosis can produce profound changes in people to help them improve their lives. I am very confident in my abilities to help my clients anchor and strengthen their beliefs to make their desire for change a concrete reality. I realised a long time ago just how important it is for my clients successful treatment outcomes to put them completely at ease right from the beginning and project an air of confidence and assurance that strengthen and emboldens my clients belief systems that they have made the right choice in using hypnosis and have come to the right person, a true professional who understands them and who can help them overcome their problems and help them make the changes they want.

As you can see above, Successful Hypnotherapy treatments rely largely in part on the confidence of the client really believing that change IS possible and a therapist who is unable to build that belief in their client and project that confidence is unlikely to be able to help their client make that change. It’s a bit like getting in a taxi where the car is a bit of a beaten up wreck and the driver is uncertain of where they are going and how they are going to get there. You wouldn’t take that journey would you? You want a totally confident professional to get you to where you want to be. You would not put your trust in anything less.
My track record and success rates are very good and I have received great testimonies from my satisfied customers, which you can read here on my success stories link.

So what makes my hypnotherapy treatments deliver results they do?

At Trevor Wales Hypnotherapy Solutions each client is treated as an individual and as no two people are alike, my hypnosis scripts are personally tailored to suit your unique needs, to help ensure the right results for you.

From the outset of the consultation I will gather a lot of information to get to the root of the matter in order to make the best decisions as to how best to treat you so you can get the results you want. So you can expect quite a lot of questions and suggestions. This is because occasionally some clients come along who have other deeper issues which need resolving first before we can start working with the main suggestion therapy for it to be successfully accepted. Just like an onion we all have many different layers.

Another very significant factor which determines whether hypnotherapy will be delivered with maximum effectiveness so that the client gets the results they want is that the right type of hypnotic induction style needs to be established during the consultation. During this session I assess each client's basic personality profile to decide which style of hypnotic induction technique I will use that will yield the best treatment results for you.

I use a personality profiling technique pioneered by one of the UK's leading hypnotherapy and psychotherapy trainers, Terence Watts. His groundbreaking research and subsequent book, 'Warrior, Settlers and Nomads', establishes the fact that as no two people are alike, a totally unique induction style for each person is required to deliver the most effective result. Using this targeted method of hypnotic induction is one of the main reasons that my hypnotherapy treatments are so successful.

A person who is quite analytical and has difficulty in letting go control needs a completely different approach from the person who is quite flamboyant and outgoing as does the person who is very easy going and likes to be liked. If you want to know more you can take your own personality test by clicking on the link here and spending a few minutes answering some questions about yourself. The results may Surprise you!

I also incorporate NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Therapy) into my treatment services which are highly recognized therapy tools which compliment Hypnotherapy treatments very well, giving me greater diversity in the treatments which I can offer my clients to help them on their individual journeys to successful life change. All of this ensures you the customer, that you will always receive the very best level of effective Hypnotherapy treatments. I hope I can look forward to helping with whatever it is that you would like to achieve.

 

 


 

Why letting go of limiting beliefs and fears is the only Path to healing and moving forwards

 


New Blog added 28th Oct 2016. Author. Trevor.R. Wales. Dip Hyp. GQHP. BWRT. 

Human beings have a great many qualities both positive and negative. We have the capacity to love and be kind and nurturing. We have the capacity for generosity and caring. As a species we are hard wired like many of the animal kingdom to be social and tribal. We are better as a collective working together. However, we have the need for individualism, our free will of self determination and to make our own choices.

We are as a species capable of great cruelty unkindness, greed and prejudice. These are just some of the negative qualities that human beings are capable of. We are in part driven by fear when we should be driven by love. Our subconscious is tasked with fight, flight or freeze and is there to keep us safe; however, our subconscious minds do not always work in our best interests.

The path to inner peace of mind begins by being brave enough to move forward taking one step at a time

Some unhappy people are in a prison of their own hatred and prejudice and the beliefs they hold about themselves and who they are. Some of those prejudices, dislikes, fears, hatreds may be born out of experience whilst some are generational beliefs passed on from generation to generation. The person who doesn’t question those beliefs is in reality living someone else’s perceived truth and not living their own lives through their own objectivity. We should in essence question everything done and judge things by our own ideals assuming we are strong enough to be of independent thought and reasoning. 

Some people will unknowingly subconsciously sabotage their own happiness and success because of what is going on beneath the surface. It’s not until a person is prepared to hold a mirror up to their soul and stare at the  true reflection they see staring and  then  decide to let go of what isn’t helping them in life that progress and change can be made. That change has to come from within. No one can help a person to change who isn’t brave enough to take the plunge. We can try to help people through kindness, listening, advice etc but ultimately the person who knows that they have a problem and who knows that in order to feel better and knows that they need to change is the only person who can make that change. Family, friends, professionals can ‘facilitate’ but change has to come from a deep desire and willingness to do whatever it takes.  Some people are strong enough to do this and work with what they see and challenge the unconscious beliefs and behaviours held deep and some people will freeze in the light of what they see and remain stuck in fear not wanting to let go because their pain is knowable and familiar and it is fear of letting go and what is on the other side that keeps them stuck.

Over the last ten years I have seen many people with all sorts of issues some of them very complex and difficult and there are some who remain firmly in memory, both successful clients who made the changes they wanted because they dared to expand their comfort zone and move forward and those who’s fears and difficulties with living with their presenting issue just kept them stuck, stuck and with the rigid belief that could never change..... like the person who on the day of coming to see me for quitting smoking , suddenly found they couldn’t go through with it because they were so very lonely and smoking was their only friend. Nothing we talked about could change the views held by this client and it was clear that this was a secondary gain for the client.

 If a client will not believe they have the capacity change then nothing a therapist can do within the boundaries of ethical working practices will help to break down the resistance if the secondary gain is so strong to create huge internal resistance in the mind.

I have had clients whose prejudices and limited thinking they have been bought up with from early childhood has made it so very difficult for them to let go and find the happiness they seek because those beliefs have stood in the way. Those beliefs can be challenged and together if the client is willing this is something that both therapist and client can work on together to resolve so that they can find new ways of seeing life and seeing possibilities.  

I once heard a story from a fellow therapist about a client who came from a family background where the family held very firm views about the Second World War and who were not inclined to try and see the bigger picture and move on. The story goes that this person grew up with a view that persons of a certain nationality were all the same and tarred with the same brush.... ..that was until they met someone of that very nationality and who on first sight they were deeply attracted to and who subsequently fell head over heels in love. For this person that created a huge inner conflict that went beyond their own inner boundaries and which no doubt meant that difficult choices had to be made within the family. The relationship floundered and failed and the person was left scarred and heartbroken. At that point they realised they had to change and went on to seek help from a therapist to work through their issues and learn to see the world in a different way. A few years went by and the couple met again and the flame of love was rekindled. That person is now married to that person with a family of their own and moreover the prejudices held by that persons family was healed and dissolved . Sometimes it is only in letting go that our own true happiness can be found.  

Some of those people who could not move forward had issues which clearly held them back from moving forward such as believing that nothing could fix them  and some didn’t like themselves at all which is a very sad situation. I’ve had people who really hated themselves believing that they were useless and somehow less than worthy because of all of the experiences they have gone through in life..... perhaps with abusive relationships where their core identity had been eroded .. These situations have a tendency in today’s society to be supposed that it is within the framework of a partnership or marriage or just the persons fault through their own bad attitude but in fact in my experience it can non of those and can be events as far back as childhood with volatile dysfunctional family life and parents who abuse and bully and who project their own fears and limitations upon their children such as telling them that they are not as good as other siblings or telling them that their birth was a mistake and that they should never have been born for example. The behaviour a small child experiences in their young years can have far reaching consequences into adult life.

It’s also true to say too that some situations with how people view themselves, looking within can be born of experiences in adult life, workplace bullying whether in the private or public sector for example which can really erode a person’s confidence and belief in themselves. Over the years I have encountered a few ex armed forces service personnel whose experience in the forces caused them a great deal of personal inner conflict but if the will and desire is there progress can be made to find a better state of mind and feeling. ~
At the end of the day it is only in letting go of the past that a person can move forward.
The journey may well have its difficulties, its twists and turns, its setbacks and triumphs but it is only being brave enough to put one step in front of the other and taking the plunge that the journey into a better state of mind can be achieved.   

 

 

www.bwrt.org Find me listed under practitioners for Cornwall

 

Need to break free and leave your past behind you? BWRT® breaks away from the need to find out the "WHY" of why the client has a problem. BWRT® is Solution- focused behavioural psychotherapy. Using BWRT® there is no need for analysis. BWRT® is a content free form of  therapy which can create fast,efficient personal change where many personal problems simply seem to melt away. Call 01726 69703 for more information  

 


 

New client testimonial received 26th October 2016. Anxiety.Depression.Confidence. Weight


New blog added 26th October 2016

 A client who I started working with late last year came to see me in November 2015 presenting with Anxiety, depression and lack of confidence. After succesfully working through those issues we then went on to work with weight management which has also been very successful. I Just received this lovely testimonial in the post this morning. Hypnotherapy works!

 

"Dear Trevor.
For your portfolio in my words.
The hardest thing you will do is write down the phone number.
The rest, to change your life for the better is easy. Well worth doing. Can you afford to wait any longer to get your life back on track?
James.
Thank you very much for your help. 
Regards. 
James "

Cognitive mind based therapies can really make a big difference  to how you feel and how you perform

 If you would like to call me for an informal chat call me for a free phone consultation of up to thirty minutes

 


 

How hypnotherapy changed my clients life and how my client lost two stone in weight


New blog added 24th Oct 2016

 

At the foot of this blog is the latest progress report from one of my weight management clients I have been working with over the last few months. 
When my client came to see me they had been stuck as far as slimming went. They had been on various diets none of which consistently worked for them. When this client came to see me they knew two things.
Number 1. They knew that because of the failed diets they had been on before that their thinking had to change.
Number 2. They knew that the root of their problem lay in their eating HABITS. You see a lot of people eat when they are feeling down to help themselves feel better or they will eat when bored for something to do.

To succeed and lose weight, my client knew they had to change dramatically in their thinking and habits because everything else had failed. What my client had learned to understand is that the subconscious part of our minds has the greater control over our conscious minds and they understood that working with hypnosis and bypassing the conscious mind it was possible the create changes at the subconscious level where all of our beliefs and habits are formed. 
They understood where their inner conflict lay and the very thing that they did differently as to what most people who yo-yo diet all through their lives, going from one diet to another, is that they came to the consideration of using hypnotherapy with a completely open mind.

 

Why has my client been so successful?
One of the first things which was immediately apparent is that my client had some self esteem issues and I explained that in order for progress to be made the foundations had to be put in place and this is where we started. I also explained that this weight management programme was unique and custom tailored and needed to be taken very seriously and that everything I advised them to do in the pursuit of becoming healthy and fit need to acted upon without fail. This they did!  They joined a gym, took regular exercise even at the end of a busy day, they went for regular long walks, they now Skip regularly (Did you ever see a fat Boxer?) More importantly they changed what they eat and keeping a daily food and exercise diary was pivotal in helping them to create their success.

Not so long ago I received a message on facebook which said this:-  

"Hi Trevor. Just wanted to share some success with you... I've just done a double dance fitness class. The first one was strictly steps which copies some of the dance steps from strictly. Very good exercise and was sweating by the end if the first dance! This class lasted 1 hr. Then second class was zumba... lots of movement and cardio exercise. Again this lasted 1hr. So this evening I have completed 2hrs of exercise.... My instructor has said I should try Zumba extreme (advanced class!) As lots of the newer people are copying me :) Absolutely shattered but very happy. Before I started hypnotherapy my evenings would be sat on sofa watching telly and eating fast food... never would I have thought that I would be able to complete 2 hrs of exercise in 1 evening. When I first went Zumba I was out of breath within minutes and thought I wouldn't make it though the class... now I'm being asked to go advanced class and doing back to back classes. Thank you very much and see you on Saturday. "

Hypnotherapy was the key to helping my client access their own best inner resources and change not only what they eat and the way they eat and to make regular exercise a part of their daily routine. Hypnotherapy helped shift their ideas and behaviours towards certain foods. It also helped them change their beliefs about themselves and who they are and how they feel in themselves. Hypnotherapy is a skill that can help access the subconscious mind and help clients create strong personal behavioural changes that are in line with their deepest desires and beliefs   

At the beginning like most people my client probably thought that their behaviours and beliefs around eating habits and their views on food were 'unique' to them with their problem of not being able to get their weight under control..... and for most, when people have problems that they can't seem to solve, the thought that they must be the only ones with that problem tends to be human nature and so they try hard and fail and then try harder and harder and still fail and they come to think they must be the only one stuck in this way and perhaps think there is something wrong with them even though there are most likely thousands of people out there with the same problem.

When we are stuck with a problem, because we tend to focus on it a lot, it becomes big and we tend to think we are the only ones experiencing that problem. We try harder and harder and what we find is that the harder we try the harder it is to achieve.

What is happening is in fact the law or reverse effect. This law was conceived around the turn of the twentieth century by Emile Coue, a French psychologist and pharmacist who introduced a popular method of psychotherapy and self-improvement based on optimistic autosuggestion.The father of autosuggestion referred to it as the "Law of Reversed Effort." Coue's law stated, "whenever there is a conflict between the will (conscious effort) and the imagination (mental imagery), not only do we not do that which we wish, but we do the exact opposite." When one thinks that he would like to do something but feels he cannot, then the more he tries the more difficult it becomes. 

This is where the unique power of hypnosis comes into play where we can reprogramme me the subconscious mind..... I will say no more now but let my clients words speak for themselves:-

"Morning Trevor. I hope you're well. I've just weighed myself, fist time in couple of weeks. And good news, I'm now 17 10. This means I have lost 2 stone since starting with you. I'm very very happy with this progress. Going to work extra hard to get to 16 stone asap as 17 is my unlucky number! Have a great day. Thank you"

If you would like to talk weight loss then why not get in touch? You can call me on 01726 69703


 

The importance of self esteem in childhood and adulthood

New blog added 22nd Oct 2016

Self esteem and the importance of self care, nurturing and how parenting is so important

 

 Self esteem,it all begins in childhood

When a person doesn't like themselves their core beliefs can extend back to root causes in early childhood. Those core beliefs can be thoughts that they are " a waste of space" because that is what they are constantly being told.... or that they were a mistake and should never have been born because they had a parent who constantly told them how useless they were. As far as young minds go, even something said once in haste and anger can become traumatic and frightening and something played over and over again in the child's mind becoming bigger and bigger and bigger. Even conversations, perhaps something overheard that a young child wasn't meant to hear can implant the notion of not being loved and cared about. Young children do not have the reasoning abilities that develop into adulthood and how we care and nurture our children is really so very important. Bringing our children up with a balance where they know they are loved and also where they know where those boundaries are so when they do something wrong and are chastised they still know they are loved is so important and I think I can speak from personal experience here as often as a child I didnt feel loved by my mum and dad because of the difficulties they were going through. Fortunately I had two sets of loving grandparents and I spent some time in Guernsey growing up with my aunt and uncle and cousins which helped a lot in developing confidence, resilience and self esteem.

 

Low self esteem can also start to develop at nursery and school where a child may be bullied and start to suffer peer pressure. The lessons a child learns about themselves in life will often stay with them throughout all of their lives and if the views they hold about themselves leads them to become withdrawn,socially dysfunctional, extreme in their views on people and life then they will drag that around with them all through their life. The hardened views and dysfunctional behaviour may well build a protective shell and help a person cope in what they may view as a very unfair world and their behaviours and actions towards others may well distance them from friendships and social integration. For others who suffer and who do not form a hard exterior they can become depressive, isolated ,sad and lost even putting on a brave exterior face to all the world that they are ok when deep down inside they are crying out for help because their view of themselves is so negative and they dont know what to do. Their view is sadly imprinted on their psyche in early childhood and compounded as they get older as they come to believe that is true because of the feedback they constantly receive. As a young child I was mercilessly bullied and teased because I wasn't as bright academically as the other kids in my peer group and as a quiet shy and retiring kid the playground experience became a daily thing of dread... a battleground

When a child is very young the mind is like a sponge soaking up everything and if the core message surrounding their personal identity is negative then the child will in all probability come to believe this to be true. It's hard to understand how & why a parent may do this to their own child but we all know people have their own issues and crosses to bear and something may well have happened which is quite traumatic to the parent that changed their internal reasoning and behaviour towards the child. 


As a young teenager in love I remember one of my girlfriends had this feeling that they were not good enough and it was the fact that the next child her mother had was stillborn and her mother used to tell her from time to time that if She (the girlfriend) had not been born then the next child would not have been stillborn and although no blame was ever attached to her directly she grew up with the firm feeling that in her family as the youngest she was loved the least and that her mother blamed her for the death of her sister. She grew up a moody and troubled teenager whose relationship with her parents was difficult to say the least and who left home at 16. As I got to know her over the time we were together more and more it became apparent that she was a fairly dysfunctional person on many levels being difficult to get to know, quite argumentative and distant a great deal of the time.The very fact that in the time that we were together this subject came up numerous times, looking back now indicates that here was a person who was affected by their past and the messages they had received about their childhood. They were clearly not happy and perhaps somehow reaching out for help. At that time, I did not understand and I also had my own personal issues coming from a broken home. 
When a person doesn't like themselves it can make it very difficult for them to behave in a way that endears them to other people because it can sometimes go hand in hand with social dysfunctionality where the person can make themselves difficult to get along with and very hard to get to know. They may even hold quite polarised views of other people.

Both at home and at school, setting our children up with confidence and good self esteem values equips them to feel happy and valued

Over my time as a therapist I have worked with many people who even go so far as hating themselves and think that they are completely unfixable. What often surprises them is how the journey into therapy can help them to effect a complete mind shift of their worldview and how they view themselves and enabling them as people to live a happy fulfilling life....... and that of course is the end aim. 
As you can easily realise the journey isn't easy and it can take time, sometimes quite a long time to heal involving several sessions and sometimes more but in that instant when the mind is ready to change that change can take place in an instant. Therapy is not a magic bullet but a very powerful useful set of tools to facilitate personal change and growth.

There is no price that can be put on peace of mind and when you really want to change you will find that peace of mind